Workout Barbie: Motivation Sold SeparatelyIn addition to having a husband who's an Ironman triathlete and a coach, I happen to have a group of friends that enjoy all sorts of physical activities - riding their bikes beside giant Boston buses, running marathons, and waking up at dawn to go to boot camp. While I admire their ambition and support their efforts, most of the time this also makes me feel like a squishy out-of-shape couch potato. Which is probably because I am one.
I've never been an athletic person. In camp, when the other kids played kickball, my friend Rebecca and I would beg to sit on the sidelines under a tree and read. While recess was a pleasure for other students in 3rd grade, I would have killed for more arts and crafts time. And for me, the best part about graduating high school was ending my lifelong abusive relationship with the Phys Ed requirement and its associated humiliation.
I am uncoordinated, weak, and a bookworm. I enjoy sedentary activities like reading, writing, and watching television. This is not for lack of trying. I've tried jogging and pilates, kickboxing and yoga. None of them have really taken. I don't stick with them long enough to reap any of the benefits (better sleep, increased strength, diminished muffin-top), and when I don't see results after a few times I find it very easy to quit. I've yet to find a type of exercise I enjoy as much as that great workout you get from lifting a sandwich to your mouth.
Despite the fact that I joke about this a lot, in all seriousness it's not something I'm happy with. I'd love to find some form of exercise that would provide a distraction from my everyday stress and a motivation to eat better. I am lucky enough that my good metabolism makes it possible for me to avoid gaining weight without working out, but the fact that this dampens my motivation isn't a source of pride. I wish that I could join my friends for a jog on a beautiful day without embarrassing myself. I'd love for my husband to watch me complete one race after my years watching him finish so many. He is a very talented athlete, and although he's very happy with his couch potato wife, I know he'd be thrilled to see me cross the finish line, even in a 5K - mostly because he knows it would make me feel great.
So lack of self-awareness isn't the problem here, obviously. I know that I should exercise. And I know why I don't want to: a naturally low level of athletic ability (thanks, genes) combined with low self-esteem when it comes to sports (likely a result of the sadistic coach I had during the years I was required to play field hockey), hatred of sweating and breathing hard, and a supreme ability to make excuses. The puzzle here is part three - despite knowing I should, and knowing why I haven't, what can I do to motivate myself here? I welcome suggestions from all former exercise-avoiders and couch potatoes.
I don't know if this is exactly a solution, but ...
ReplyDeleteI find working out kind of a purposeless activity, not to mention one that I don't inherently enjoy. I understand running when being chased, and running to win something; but just running? Makes no sense to me.
I feel like we have to do all of this extra working out because we have such inactivity in our routine lives; so what I'm trying to do instead is build much more activity into the things I have to do as a matter of course. I committed to walking to work when I started my summer fellowship, and my new job let's me continue to get in that 2-mile roundtrip every day. I also try to do a lot of my weekly shopping within walking distance, so that I end up walking a couple miles back and forth around the Union Square area. I'm hoping to get my found-on-the-street bike (I'm cheap as well as lazy!) into good working order and conquer my fear of being in an accident so I can bike downtown to school, which is further away than I know I'd realistically commit to walking. And I try to do the little silly stuff, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
Mostly, I'm trying to accept who I am and not do too much comparing. Since we have the same set of friends, I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a lazy lump! (To add insult to injury, at one time I was a state-level track and field athlete; how are the mighty fallen.). But I also realize that it's OK if I'm not a super-boot-camper, if I can find other ways to stay healthy and active that suit my lifestyle and personality now.
So let's start with our walk on Saturday, and see if we can help each other to get up off the couch. But if we get too hot and tired, we can always retire for a Law & Order marathon. ;-)